What to Expect in Anxiety Therapy (Especially If You’re Used to Being in Control)
You’re probably someone who is used to handling challenges. Most high-functioning professionals are goal-chasers, problem-solvers, and capable of working through average day-to-day challenges. And most of the time, this works. But every now and then, even highly capable people run up against challenges that are more than what you bargained for. Sometimes the challenges are greater than your capacity or overwhelm your ability to cope. This is when most high-functioning professionals start to question if they should seek therapy.
Admitting that it's time for therapy is a vulnerable experience, and most people who can handle challenges on their own are uncomfortable with that level of vulnerability. I want to let you know that this is completely normal and is not a sign that you should not seek support.
Many high-achieving professionals are comfortable being the support person, but not always comfortable receiving support themselves.
Why High-Functioning Professionals Often Delay Therapy
So let’s get into why most high-functioning professionals often delay therapy. First, being highly competent can make it more challenging to recognize when you need support.
You may actually be minimizing how much pain you’re in and how tight a grip anxiety has around your mind and heart. Most highly functioning people normalize anxiety, or they judge themselves when they feel afraid, nervous, or insecure.
Many high-functioning professionals don’t realize that constantly staying busy and productive can actually be one of the more subtle ways anxiety shows up. I talk more about this in my blog, Why High-Achieving Professionals Struggle to Slow Down.
High-functioning professionals sometimes delay therapy because they believe their stress level isn’t bad enough. If anxiety doesn’t completely take over their lives or create illness, they find a way to keep moving forward.
You may be telling yourself, "I just need to minimize stress," or you may decide to take a vacation, but you come back to work feeling as stressed as you did before you left, and this is when you start to question what is wrong with you. And because you’re able to continue to produce and function at work, you make the mistake of assuming that everything is okay.
Therapy Is Not About Losing Control
Many high-functioning professionals fear that they will be changed into someone that they don’t recognize by going to therapy. They are afraid that they won’t recognize themselves or their lives, and the mirror idea of being out of control is enough to make them feel that the process of therapy is too risky.
Therapy is a collaborative experience, not something being “done” to you. You set the goal and the pace of the work you do in therapy.
There is often the fear that you have to share all your deepest, darkest secrets at once, and for most people, this feels overwhelming and unsafe. The reality is that there is no pressure to share everything immediately. It’s most important to establish trust with your therapist and to create a safe space where you are comfortable talking about the vulnerable aspects of your life. It is imperative that you feel safe enough to talk about the hard stuff. Even then, you may not share every thought or feeling, and that’s ok.
In my work providing anxiety therapy in Maryland, I often remind clients that therapy is not about changing who they are. It’s designed to support them in feeling more grounded, more aware of their patterns, and more supported in their day-to-day life.
How Anxiety Therapy Can Actually Support You
Good anxiety therapy will support you in increasing your awareness of the patterns that create anxiety. It will also teach you practical tools to understand and regulate your emotional responses, and support you in functioning at your highest capacity at work and in your personal life.
The types of themes we cover in anxiety therapy are:
Boundaries
Overthinking
Chronic tension
Emotional awareness
Presence
Many of these patterns develop slowly over time, especially for people who are used to pushing through stress and staying highly productive. If this resonates, you may also connect with my blog on Why High-Achieving Professionals Struggle to Slow Down.
The more you are aware of your patterns of behavior that contribute to anxiety, the more likely you are to pivot out of dysfunctional patterns (ie. boundary stepping, overthinking, isolation, fear base choices) into more grounded and supportive ways of relating to yourself and others (ie. healthy boundaries, collaborative working, clearly communicating your thoughts and feelings in a grounded manner, and feeling grounded and peaceful, confident about your choices)
What Your First Session Might Feel Like
A first session of anxiety therapy will look like the therapist introducing themselves to you and explaining their approach to working with clients. It also involves you talking openly about what has brought you to therapy and what you would like to get out of the process.
In the first few sessions, you will establish a goal for the work you and your therapist will do together, and that work will be centered on the goal you set for the process. This is where the pacing of the sessions, as well as safety, comes to the forefront.
Most of the clients that I’ve worked with in anxiety therapy talk about feeling relieved to have a safe place to explore their thoughts and feelings. They also feel hopeful when they learn tools to navigate their anxious moments with more confidence and clarity.
For most highly functioning professionals, knowing is half the battle. Once you understand why you have been feeling anxious and learned tools to manage the anxiety, you’ll feel more empowered and more in control of yourself and your life.
Get Support Before The Anxiety Feels Unmanageable
I have said this many times, and I will say it many more times, the truth is that therapy isn’t just for a crisis.
You can seek support before missed deadlines, failed relationships, or burnout. You don’t have to wait until your life feels out of control. You can choose to get support even when your stress levels feel manageable.
Most people make the mistake of believing that they have to be completely overwhelmed before they see therapy as a viable option. The reality is that therapy can support you in improving your quality of life, simply because you want to live more peacefully and gain a deeper understanding of yourself.
You don’t have to wait until anxiety completely disrupts your life before getting support. Sometimes the first signs are subtle and easy to normalize. I talk more about those signs in my blog, How to Tell If You Have High-Functioning Anxiety.
High-functioning people deserve care and support, too, so give yourself permission to receive the care you need.
Download the Guide
If you’d like a gentle starting point to better understanding your anxiety as well as a practice tool that will support you in moving through anxious momnets of indecision, I created a Free Guide, The High-Functioning Anxiety Reset: 3 Ways to Calm Your Mind Without Losing Your Edge, that walks you through a simple, five-minute process to work through anxiety in the moment, especially during your workday.
It’s a practical starting point that shows you how to begin noticing your patterns without overthinking them.
You can download the Guide here to learn more.
If you’re looking for additional support beyond the Guide, you can learn more about my approach to anxiety therapy in Maryland here.
About the Author
Danielle Hatchell, LCPC is a therapist with over 25 years of experience providing anxiety therapy in Maryland to high-functioning, anxious professionals. Her work supports individuals who are used to showing up for others but are ready to feel more grounded within themselves.
Her approach integrates traditional talk therapy with mindfulness, breathwork, and nervous system awareness, helping clients build practical tools while reconnecting with a deeper sense of clarity and balance.
